Stephen Colbert has dropped an anthem for our times in a new lavishly-produced music video.
The host debuted the clip on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert last night—part of a method he has devised to make super-rich figures like Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, and Jeff Bezos less a part of our lives.
Colbert first lamented the “outsized impact on politics” these billionaires have in a desk piece, wondering why their net worth isn’t enough for them. He’s got his own theory.
“The mega rich are clearly seeking validation to fill an emotional void,” Colbert says. “And if giving them a little attention and praise will get them out of our lives and back to their private island shaped like their own heads, I’d say that’s worth a shot.”
With that, the host cued up his elaborate music video praising the .01%-ers.
“Billionaires are actually good,” the song declares at the start as a boldly suited Colbert makes his faux case for appreciating the ultra-rich.
Colbert trots out a guest star for the bridge, bringing on three-time Late Show guest Alan Cumming. (Cumming currently hots the reality competition show The Traitors on Peacock.)
By the bridge, Colbert clarifies his intentions: He’s afraid to question billionaires. “Are you trying to get us f*cking killed? They’re listening to us right now, so be cool,” he warns.
“Chances are you work for a billionaire,” he adds. “I know I do. I just don’t know which one anymore.”
The song then goes on to say “Shut up and buy their self-driving cars, and if you’re lucky you’ll be their slave on Mars”—a nod to Elon Musk that’s illustrated with an exploding Tesla.
“Sing their praises,” the song concludes of the super rich. “And maybe when we are done, they’ll f*ck off and colonize the sun.”
